This fucks me off. A short model saunters into a forum and states that ‘it’s not fair’ that people don’t cast for short models when it comes to fashion work. Apparently, if you apply a liberal layer of bullshit, and finish with some whining, then a short model (usually too old and too fat too…but lets not focus on that) can be a fashion model. An uber fashion model. Here’s my post to crush your short little dreams.
Kate Moss doesn’t count
Kate Moss is 5’7”. She’s a law unto herself – she’s also in her 30’s, she’s also a bit of a druggie and still managed to ping right back into the glossies. You are not Kate Moss. Kate Moss was scouted as a teenager and was a supermodel by the time she was 18 – if she wasn’t, the agency would have booted her. Nobody knows why on earth she’s still working, how she became a supermodel when so many others failed and just what it is – whatever it is though, you don’t have it. You might have it if you’re a 14 yr old waif, but if you’re 26, 5’2” and whining on an internet forum you don’t have it. Deal with it. To be frank, if Kate Moss walked into an agency now, with no experience but the exact same look, in all likelihood, she’d be turned away. Right body, right time, right face, right place.
(I say this with absolutely all due respect to Kate Moss – she’s incredible).
Evangeline Lily doesn’t count
I know I know, she’s represented by Ford. She’s in their TALENT division. She’s on mag covers because she’s a celebrity, not because she’s a model. It’s an increasing trend and an unfortunate one for models as actresses are nicking our work, but whatever. If you learn to act, look hot as hell, manage to wind up on a very very popular series that just goes on and on and on until people start making ‘clever’ jokes about the series name and it’s effects, then maybe you’ll be on the cover of Vogue. But it’s unlikely. As in, it won’t happen.
Talent doesn’t count
‘Short models can be talented too!’ Ok – who the hell wants a short ‘talented’ model when they can have a tall talented model that fits the actual clothes and looks good in them? Nobody. Unless your talent includes growing 5 inches, it doesn’t count and it won’t make you into a fashion model.
Heels don’t count
This one’s hilarious – ‘I’m 5’9” in 5” heels!’ Yeah? I’m 17’2” in stilts, but I’m not painting spots on myself and saying I can be a giraffe. If all the other fashion models are 5’9”, they’ll still be all taller than you in heels. Not to mention, it’s not just height – it’s body proportions too. Heels don’t make you a tall model – they make you a short model in heels.
‘Fair’ isn’t a word associated with modelling
Life’s not fair – an oft-used phrase, mainly because it’s true. A very good model recently said that modelling isn’t an equal-opportunities business, and I couldn’t have put it better myself (which is why I’m stealing it). 99% of the time, you can’t be a fashion model if you’re fat, short, old, saggy, tattooed, pierced, ugly in the facial department or disabled in a way that’s instantly obvious. It’s an industry based on HOW YOU LOOK. You will be judged – almost exclusively – on how you look. Hired on those merits. People who look more suitable will be hired above you. If you do not LOOK right for the job, you won’t get it – it doesn’t matter how much you want it, how talented you are or how much you cry about it and squeal about ‘changing the industry’ – it will not happen.
Anyway, done my bit of dream-crushing for the day. Now I might go kick a puppy*.
*This was a joke – MB would never ever kick a puppy. Unless it was attacking a kitten.